No room for jealousy in successful bands — cooperation rules
Talent spurs success, but the longevity of a band depends as much on its working environment.
Sadly, increasingly in the Young Performers’ world, jealous bickering and turf battles are tearing bands apart. Or worse, chatter and gossip undercurrents instill deep emotional scars that make it tough for a band to move forward harmoniously. An ugly incident of posting the word “faggot” on a band member’s wall is one recent example of the damaging behavior.
Jealousy often shows up when one band member gets more industry attention, has more professional training, gets more compliments or has more lead time in the band.
If hurtful behavior and jealousy are not addressed immediately, the band becomes unproductive, explained Patty Duffey, founder of the Young Performers Club and Music On & Up. Simple decisions and day-to-day band management are challenged and valuable time is wasted. Sometimes the scars jealousy causes can’t be erased.
When asked for bands to comment on their experiences with jealousy on the Young Performer’s Facebook page we received many helpful quotes.
A lot of kids forget the word band means sticking together with a common interest. Putting aside your own interests and putting the group first is the priority. The word commitment means that the band members are relying on each other to make sure their relationships come first. If they do not respect each other, and have a genuine interest in each other, then it will reflect on the group and their music.
Duffey recommends that all performers understand upfront the meaning of being “a band mate.” Specifically, Duffey counsels performers to learn that the relationship they have with each other is as important as the music they create and perform together.
In her words: “collaboration rules.” A band is more than a group of performers—it is a business, with its own inherent relationship qualities. Duffey encourages performers to flip negative energy into positive support so all band members can thrive.
Bands can uplift and inspire one another by cheering for one another at competitions and posting positive comments on each other’s social media sites,” Duffey suggested. In some cases, they can even write music, organize concerts and support charity events together. Band members can learn so much from each other through this friendly collaboration.
Duffey feels most strongly about bands listening to each other and learning from observing each other. It is all too common for bands to dart out the door as soon as their set is over. When this happens, unfortunately the last band up has no audience. In a recent event Duffey managed for Tunes-for-Tots, she required that all 30 performers remain for the duration of the show. The event turned out to be a big success with a great audience remaining until the end.
Other challenges members bring within their bands:
- Wanting more time in the spotlight
- Disrespecting each other’s opinions and decisions
- Disagreeing about standards for practicing and performing
- Refusing to communicate openly with each other when discord arises
- Arguing over band finances and budget issues
- Cancelling gigs they previously committed to doing
- Showing up late or not showing up at all to practices
- Not putting the time into their own development
- Failing to agree on song choices or genre focus
- In working with her own popular band p.o.p. ALERT (in photo above with The Always), Duffey addresses these issues by establishing three criteria upfront:
- Frequent meetings
- Insistence on listening to everyone’s opinions without any unilateral decisions.
- Utilizing a working communications agreement that addresses many of the day-to-day management items.
Duffey inspires all band members to remain professional and set a favorable example for, in the end, collaboratively creating brings greater performances that extend far beyond the music.
As Duffey so wisely notes from her years as a leader in the young performers’ music industry:
Successful bands genuinely love being together.
Gail Jones, Blogger Pros